I got an invitation for a party, but today I really don't have a mood to have fun. It's not like I have it on other days causebecause of my depression. I'd rather stay in my unicorn pajamapajamas in bed. But, but there is no chance I will not appear. After all, my best friendfriend's 17th birthday is only once, and I should be thankful this person exists. Even I couldn't stand myslefmyself, so I really admire Jess is still being with me. After this so motivational speech, I get up and go to closet for a nice shining expensive something that can cover my dark and empty inside.

Me and Chiara getting on party. Jess opens door, and now my smile havehas to be bigger than before- making wishes and those things. It's weird, but the bigger my smile is, the more I feel like crying. I withstandingwithstand it. We enter the living room. I have a feeling that Jess invited the whole city, but I pretend I don't mind causebecause 'I'm a normal, very sociable girl.'. We are sitting down on the couch. It's a miracle there are no kissing people here. Girls start staring at two boys. They are talking about them all the time. Don't notice me and my lost love. I know I wrote before "My boy," but no, we're not together. We are really good friends, but my heart belongs to another. To: to a person living at the other end of the fucking world. Literally. We meet at school exchange, then back home, he. He forgot, and I stayed with broken heart. But it's okOK. I am strong or something … Andand I can't demand constant help from girls and let my sorrows absorb them, can I?